“Spiritual Suplex”: Authentic Relationships Are Tough.
I think I’ll stick with the wrestling references for a bit… :)
As I’ve entered full-time ministry, I’ve come to realize that it’s really easy to try and mask your true feelings for the sake of seeming put together or something. I don’t think this applies just to those in ministry, but to anyone, really. We want so badly to belong, and so we show off our ‘Sunday best,’ all the while, we’re a total mess! I’ve never been the kind of person that can handle pretending…just sayin’…
I’d like to clear the table for a second with you…let’s just get it all out, right off the bat: we are ALL broken. The church is not filled with complete people; that’s what heaven is for. We simply do not have all the answers…and we need each other to grow. Without authentic relationships with Jesus and each other, we’re just a bunch of droids, who maybe, have a nice lacquer on the outside, but inside, our gears and electronics are all discombobulated.
I guess I’m just processing this whole thing of ‘real’ community, because it’s something I truly care about it. I care about it for my church community, for my band, for my marriage, for my friendships outside of church, for my family. I want the real deal.
The fact is, we need to mutually agree, that for relationships to work, we’ve gotta be real, and we’ve gotta try for each other. Let’s start with being real:
Real: Not fake. Not somebody we aren’t. Who we REALLY are. Wanna know who I am? I’m a guy who loves Jesus completely, but who sins sometimes. I love my wife with all my heart, but sometimes I’m a selfish jerk and I don’t put her first. I’m a musician who’s been in many different bands, but I don’t really understand music theory. I’m somehow still kinda skinny, but I often eat pretty poorly, and rarely work out. I’m just a dude, and I’m not perfect.
Who are you? Are you being honest with yourself? Are you being honest with those around you who love you? I hope so. I’d bet you would feel tons better if you were.
How about the part where we try for each other:
Try: Effort. Here’s what I’m processing here…
Sometimes the one who pursues gets tired of being the only one pursuing…
Sometimes the encourager needs some encouragement…
Sometimes the mentor needs to be mentored…
Sometimes the giver needs a gift…
Sometimes the merciful one needs to be shown some mercy…
Sometimes the friendly one needs a friend…
We’ve all got gifts, so let’s use them! Why would God give us tools to use for only ourselves? Our gifts are to benefit the body. We need each other, and this is how we can help.
In closing, I’d just like to add a random thought: since Kara and I got married, a lot has changed, but the thing that hasn’t is our need for relationship. I think a lot of people think that married folks are too busy to hang out and have fun. Guess what? They’re probably right! Ha! However, that by no means suggests that we don’t desire authentic relationship and community for ourselves. Simply put: we DO. I need close guys in my life, she needs close girls, and we need close couples. Every married couple does (in my humble, almost 2 years of marriage opinion). Married people and single people: don’t forget about each other, and don’t miss the chance to learn from each other. There’s so much to learn and so much life to live together.
Maybe this blog doesn’t make any sense, or maybe it resonates. I don’t really know. Either way, at least I’m blogging more… :)
*If you have never taken a Spiritual Gifts Analysis, you might find it helpful. It’s by no means gospel truth, or even meant to throw you in a category, but it might give you an clearer idea of how God has wired you. I know it’s helped me out a ton. Here’s a link:
