Walking with a limp.
I remember being a kid and playing pretend with my friends. Most of the time, we would build couch forts and pretend we lived there, sometimes pretending we were a family of sorts. Two 7-year olds who were some how parents to a few other 7-year olds. Kinda weird! I also remember times where I’d pretend I got hurt to get out of playing with a kid I was sick of playing with. I actually remember once exaggerating that I sprained my ankle during some stupid game we were playing so that I could get out of it. I had to pretend so I could get out.
We all pretend sometimes, even if we aren’t kids anymore. Unlike children, it’s not for the sake of fun that we pretend. Most of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have a side that we are deeply afraid to show anyone else. It seems that the one thing we are all seeking to do in this life is to connect with other people, and yet we hold other people at arms length when it comes to our deepest parts. It’s no surprise that there is such disconnect in our culture, and yet such a craze to connect through social networks, online dating services, and a variety of other mediums.
I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’ve realized that a good connection with another person is priceless. There have been times in my life where I had many “friends” and felt very loved, but many of them have faded away for one reason or another. I’m not saying this out of bitterness or contempt toward any particular individual, we all just grow apart sometimes. But there are those certain few that you just “get,” and they get you. It’s not even something that can be put into words, it just is.
I believe we are all looking for people like that in our lives. It’s what we hope for in a spouse, a best friend, and for many of us, even a church. We are looking for someone to understand us and accept us for who we are, even our deepest, darkest, dirtiest parts. We want someone who, after hearing about the worst thing(s) that we have ever done/thought of, chooses grace and love over condemnation and ridicule. It seems to me that wherever I go, people are afraid to engage in that kind of relationship. It’s almost as though we know ourselves too well, and that if someone had brought such honesty to our front door, we wouldn’t know what to do with it. I see it too often, and I feel like I can spot it a mile away, because I AM that person.
I’d like to focus in on the church for a moment. Again, no particular church, I’m talking THE church, as a whole. We are a funny organism, aren’t we? :) We show up to a Sunday service, wearing our nicest clothing, sporting our nicest smiles, all cleaned up and ready to put our best foot forward. It’s always confused me because it seems like the people that Jesus hung out with were far from “cleaned up.” If anything, he spent most of his time with some pretty shady characters who’s manners were probably no better than a semi-truck driver’s are (in defense of truck drivers, I know a handful who are EXCEPTIONAL people, and may have better manners than I do at times! Just sayin…). My point being, I don’t know that God’s plan was ever for us to put on a show for Him, or even each other. I truly believe His intent was merely for us to walk together, without pretending like we don’t have a limp. I love what my pastor said to conclude our service this morning. He basically said, “If you’ve never been here and looking to join us on a regular basis, we’d love to have you. This is a church full of imperfect people, so if you think you’re perfect and have it all figured out, you probably wouldn’t fit in. This is a place for imperfect people, including the pastor!” Great words Mark.
One person who I know and love dearly who I believe models this well is my friend Anthony Armour. Most know him as “AP.” If you know him, you know exactly what I’m talking about. AP is known for his eclectic style, contagious personality, and brutal honesty. He’s imperfect, just like you, me, and everyone else. Whether he’s encouraging you, or trying not to lay some knuckles on you, he’s not going to hide it. I LOVE this guy. The main reason him and I have connected as friends is because there are no masks, ever. There’s simply no hiding. Whether we are feeling great about our current situation, or feeling like a complete failure to mankind and the Christian faith, there is ALWAYS love and grace present. We show our true colors, and limp together. I believe the reason for this is because Jesus is present too. I’m so thankful for the rare moments I have with AP, because it reminds me how to be a real human being in a somewhat plastic world.
My hope is that one day, we’ll all be able to experience community and relationship where people who are “limping” won’t feel like they have to hide it. Jesus sees through it all anyways, and has demonstrated to us how we should love each other. I hope that somehow my life will reflect that principle more and more as time goes on.
Last thought…Kara is reading “The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning, and has periodically shared pieces of it with me before bed. She shared a portion with me tonight, and I found it appropriate for this blog:
“The contagious joy of Jesus (only carriers can pass it on) infected and freed His followers. The author of Hebrews says, ‘Jesus Christ is the same today as he was yesterday and as he will be forever’ (13:8). If Jesus appeared at your dining room table tonight with knowledge of everything you are and are not, total comprehension of your life story and every skeleton hidden in your closet; if He laid out the real state of your present discipleship with the hidden agenda, the mixed motives, and the dark desires buried in your psyche, you would feel His acceptance and forgiveness. For ‘experiencing God’s love in Jesus Christ means experiencing that one has been unreservedly accepted, approved and infinitely loved, that one can and should accept oneself and one’s neighbor. Salvation is joy in God which expresses itself in joy in and with one’s neighbor.’” (pp. 63-64)
Let’s face it; we all walk with a little limp. Let’s stop pretending like we don’t…it just makes the injury worse.
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